Does Your Haste Make Waste?

It is that time of the year, where the fervor of the holiday season coupled with the frenzy of all that I’d like to wrap up in a 2012 bow, can get the best of me. How about you?

I served up my own self inflicted lesson in ‘haste makes waste’ last week when my ‘doing’ vastly outweighed my ‘strategic thinking and planning’.  A botched video production afternoon and a couple miscommunications with colleagues and clients were the resulting road kill.  Nothing irreparable of course, but certainly a wake up call to remind myself of what is most important and what must really be de-prioritized or shed altogether.

How do you stay grounded? How are you keeping your eye on the ball when you are getting pulled in so many different directions? This is actually a critical issue for women in general as they work towards taking on more senior level roles: the struggle to shed their familiar tactical orientation in order to make room for strategic thinking and planning.  We women have been socialized to make copious amounts of lists and ratchet it down with glee throughout our days. We love getting taking care of business!

For me, as mother to two wee children and the owner of my own business, the to-do list always seems endless. Prioritization is critical, but even still, there can almost never be enough discipline inflicted in deciding how to spend my time and resources.  Unfortunately I seldom know if I have veered off of a productive path until repercussions are felt, much like they did last week.

Here are some simple ways I stay focused and disciplined:

• Diligently manage my calendar: (e.g. send emails to folks I am meeting with the next day to confirm meeting details, I have become much better at determining whether a meeting is even needed in many scenarios as well as learning to graciously decline the folks who ask me for coffee to ‘pick my brain’, lean towards spacing out meetings vs. packing them all together)

• Work out at least 4 times a week (that’s where I do my best thinking)

• Check in with my husband (my coach) monthly (I tell him what I am focused on in my business and review how I am spending my time to hear his feedback. He always has a totally different perspective than I do, which is why I married the guy, he’s the ying to my yang)

• Give myself mini deadlines for projects with ample time built-in to get things done, so that rather than operating from a place of stress, I am operating from a place of pride for getting things done ahead of time. It works!

What works for you? How do you ensure that your haste does not make waste?

Are You a Leading Lady? If so, let’s Connect.

A very happy Monday morning to you all my lovely lady friends!  For those of you in Hurricane Sandy’s path, know that we are all holding you close in mind and heart as you endure your next 24 hours.  For your mental nourishment, I have a challenge for you all.  I am now deep in the throes of my winter book writing process and I need *your* help.  I am currently collecting aha moments, quotes, anecdotes, lessons learned from leading ladies all over the country to include in this aforementioned writing project.

1st Question: Are you a Leading Lady?

A leading lady is highly ‘aspirational’ professionally, meaning corporate climbers or entrepreneurial types and are seeking greater joie de vivre both at work and in life.

2^nd Question:  Is this your Leading Lady Problem?

When leading ladies, of whom I consider myself one of, find ourselves mid-career, we can often be conflicted about how we want to spend the next 10-30 years of our professional lives, we consider the impact of what we want for our own family and then we are met with tinges of the glass ceiling or the impact of the incredible delusion that we ourselves can do it all.  Compounding the societal and organizational limits that we find ourselves bumping up against, there also is a significant difference in our skill set and intuitive strengths that men simply are better practiced in and are not as conflicted about personally which allows them to outperform and outshine us professionally as a group.

3^rd Question: Could this be a solution to your Leading Lady Problem?

The intention of this book is to support you in this tightrope walk by teaching you specific personal and professional development tools and lessons that are critical for your continued career success. Together, we are co-creating a relatively new paradigm for women *consistently* breaking through the glass ceiling so that one day there won’t have to be a “Women of Google/GE/Nike, etc” group or a “Conference for Women in Business”, rather these conversations will simply be part of the mainstream dialogue.  Until then, we have our work cut out for us.

My Request to You:  As I stated at the top of this blog, I am looking for quotes, commentary, anecdotes, examples of how *YOU* have overcome these golden lessons below or how you are currently managing them at your workplace today:

• Career clarity so that you can set you career planning sails accordingly
• Confidence to ask for what you need and go after what you want and deserve
• Embracing change and risk taking with a optimistic and innovative approach
• De-personalizing the art of business and business relationships, just enough
• Developing organizational and industry influence
• Effectively delegating and letting go of always being the ‘doer’
• Continually practicing visioning, strategic planning and executing
• Negotiating and/or by passing office politics
• Building your own specific network to support you and your career aspirations

Lastly, do not hesitate to reach out to me and ask me any questions that you have, I always love to hear from my leading ladies! My email is Katie@LegacyBuilderCoaching.com.

Keep on trucking my fine lady friends!

KK

A Sneak Peak into My Forthcoming Book for Emerging Female Leaders

Friends, would you do me the honor of scanning though this rough outline of my forthcoming book and let me know what you think.  This book is designed for emerging female leaders who are shooting for the stars, either with their own businesses or within a large corporation. They aspire to senior level roles or as their own CEO, but they also are passionate about their life outside of work and more than anything, the sacred tribe that they surround themselves with for joie de vivre!

Would love feedback on any of these topics and am looking for quotes and anecdotes from YOU to include in the book. Enjoy!

First Phase: What do I want next?

Overview: Women face a vastly different set of pathways mid career than their male counterparts. I believe that the main reason for this differential is based on our contrasting values. Many mid career women value flexibility and intrinsic reward in their work life over role status and even salary.  Whether or not you are managing your own young family at this time, can often play a very critical role in where you most want to spend your time and resources.  Also, the deficit of positive senior women leader role models impacts many mid career women decisions to cease from climbing their company’s organizational ladder.  Why continue on a road where you are not seeing any like minded and like valued positive role models along the way?

In this section we will dig into some exercises to help you uncover what is your largest driver and how this motivation can help you determine what your career trajectory can look like.  Secondly, we will discuss ways that you can then assess whether you are in the right place and how objectively you can assess your skill set and our value in your marketplace.

Key Takeaways:

• Analysis of your values and how that impacts your career/life planning
• Clarity around your drive and motivations and what success looks like for YOU!
• Review of your role models/mentors/sponsors and why you admire them
• Assessment of whether you are in the right company (culture & growth) & right role
• Determination of your worth in the marketplace
• Completion of your career plan

 

Second Phase: What are the specific leadership competencies that women mid-career must develop in order to break into the next level of success?

Overview: Women have only been in the professional management realm for about three decades.  Thus, we are still negotiating what it means to be a female leader as well as figuring out ways to break through the ever constant glass ceiling. Of course there is a subset of women who are outliers, but in general women mid career can get stuck in mid management roles because they do not have the same leadership skill set as their male peers that is mandatory if they want to break into senior level roles.  In this section we will tackle those core competencies that will help you reach your career plan in a more effective and empowered way.

Key Takeaways:

• Consideration of your overall resilience and attitudes towards risks, change and failing
• Review of your ability to de-personalize work relationships
• A clear understanding of how confident you are based on varying contexts and relationships
• How to clearly communicate and effectively self promote at critical meetings
• How to increase your personal power base in order to have organizational influence
• How to effectively delegate and become less of a micro manager
• A plan to make sure you gain access to critical people and opportunities related to your career plan
• How to negotiate office politics
• Tools to help you and your team focus on visioning and strategy skills
• Guidelines for how best to negotiate your next role and compensation

 Phase Three:  How do I sustain my success?

 Overview:  Sustainability is just as crucial for women as reaching their career goals.  I believe the reason for this is two-fold: first, we are often juggling many other roles outside of our career and secondly, because there is not nearly as an established old girls network as there is for men, it can become a very lonely and isolated existence as a female leader.  In this final section, we will tackle what you need to guarantee your ongoing success as it relates to being a self-possessed and inspired leader both outside and inside your professional worlds.

Key Takeaways:

• How to be feminine in a male dominated work environment while still holding respect
• How to actively build and maintain your tribe (childcare, financial planning, social life, prof. network, extracurricular interests)
• Creation of ‘Signs and Symptoms of Your Impending Burnout’ worksheet for friends & family
• Ensuring a plan for personal development and nourishment
• Begin to flesh out your exit plan  (long term career planning)

Stanford Study: Act Like a Man To Get Ahead

A fascinating article was published in the NY Times yesterday: “The Myth of Male Decline” by Stephanie Coontz. Ms. Coontz cites countless facts and stats on how women are still grossly underpaid and under-represented in high levels of business and government, essentially where societal policies and ensuing change is instituted.

After reading this article, I was most struck by the absence of the reasons the majority of women opt out of big business and I assume big government:

• By mid-career, most women value flexibility and intrinsic reward over the limits of a traditional staff position where they are dictated by their jobs how accessible they can be for their families. Secondly, many women crave a more internal satisfaction from their work by mid-career and are lured to opt out of their corporate career to pursue their own business or a creative endeavor.

• Just because women now represent almost 40% of F/T workers in management but only 4% of the CEO’s in Fortune’s top 1,000 companies—doesn’t mean they are not as successful as their male counterparts who choose to stay in-house. Again, it’s all a matter of what success looks like for you. If that is being able to be home with your children part time and pursuing the rise of your own business (or not), then our hat is off to you. Think of the incredible role model you are serving as to all those around you.

Where my work comes into play is assisting the women who are mid career and who do want to continue on to executive roles, whether as part of a large corporation or within their own businesses. I am focusing my research and writing today on the particular skill set that these women need to intentionally develop to help them break through the stark glass ceiling.

To this point, a recent study released by Stanford Business School cites:

Women who display masculine traits, and know when not to, get more promotions than men states a recent study released by Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Do you agree? As a woman in business, were you aware that you are embodying your male counterpart’s traits: confidence, aggressiveness and assertiveness when you are jockeying on your or your teammate’s behalf?

Are we really so juxtaposed that women cannot be seen as self-possessed, highly aspirational, visionary strong leaders that we have to be referred to as possessing male traits to do so?
Many of my clients do report that they notice a sharp difference in the way that their male counterparts effortlessly yet persistently cite their accomplishments. In contrast, my clients note these reasons for not doing the same:

• They think their ‘win’s’ should speak for themselves

• They struggle with humility when they attempt to self-promote

• It does not feel natural to be so self-touting

What do you think? Do you identify with these reasons for not acting more assertive and self confident when it comes to seeking a promotion, a salary increase or getting higher visibility projects? If so, what do you attribute this to—your gender or your personality?

Why My Meeting with Katie Couric Today Matters

Ever since I lived in New York City in my late 20’s, I was told repeatedly how much I resemble the likeness of Katie Couric as well as embodying her bubbly personality. The fact that my name used to be Katie Curran was simply the icing on the cake.  We used to park in the same garage on the Upper East Side and without prompting, the garage attendants would insist we were sisters and were always trying to coordinate us running into each other.  I even submitted a video to the Today Show when they hosted a contest for people who were told they reminded them of her.  Sadly, no such luck in getting to meet her then.

Fast forward a decade and here I am in town for 3 days for a work event. I figured why not give meeting Katie Couric one more shot while I am here. So, I went onto her new show’s website and submitted a request to see her new show. Would you believe that her assistant called me and said they’d offer me tickets for today at 3 p.m.. Of course that is right when I have to begin to run the seminar I am here to teach at Google. So, alas another chance meeting lost.

In light of the fact that I am a regular contributor to a morning ABC show in Portland, I arranged to observe “Good Morning America” this morning and who unexpectedly was a drop in guest? That’s right, my alter ego Katie!!!! I literally thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest with excitement at finally being feet away from her.

She did a quick 4 minute piece about Yeardley Love, the UVA Lacrosse player who was violently murdered by her estranged boyfriend in 2010. This is a story near and dear to Katie as she is a UVA Alum and is trying to bring attention to the fact that 1 out of 3 college aged girls are victims of dating violence.   Admittedly, it was a bit awkward segueing to my fan worship interlude.  However, I was determined not to let this chance meeting go undocumented so I was able to get this picture snapped of us before she was shuttled out with various handlers. I simply told her how much I look up to her and appreciate her work (minus having Jessica Simpson on as her debut guest last week). She was exactly they way I imagined her to be, very warm and sweet.  She kept repeating how nice it was for me to so clearly googley-eyed for her.  I imagine she get’s that reaction alot.

Here is why my meeting with Katie Couric today matters to everybody else:

• As trite as it sounds, anything is possible. Who is your Katie Couric? What are you doing today to make inroads to meeting them?
• I was able to make this happen through my relationships and by continually asking questions. Never stop uncovering the path towards your pie in the sky.
• There is no such thing as a dead-end.  I have been trying to meet Ms. Couric for over a decade. Ironically, my chance brush with her today was totally unexpected and complete serendipity.
• Now that I have met my namesake, I can clear the path for even greater heights. The overall meaning I take from it is that the only thing getting in my way of achieving my long-term goals is……..nothing at all.  “To the moon Alice!!!”

Why Relating is More Powerful than Transacting

Welcome back friends and a very wonderful Sunday to you all.  How was your week?  I had a particularly eventful and meaning-rich week (September 11^th, published my first paper with my father, attended my first ‘Back to School’ night for our daughter’s preschool) and did not have to work hard at all to see a critical way that last week’s inquiry rang true for me.  I will take this as a rewarding sign that this newly established and evolving format, which I am letting my intuition and my heart guide me with, is exactly where I need to be and, I hope it is for you as well.

This week’s photo: Also in following with the theme of this blog, I am going to share pictures of my life, not random stock photos from the internet that highlight my theme.  This post’s picture is the last decent photo I can find of my family and I. This was a celebration night after my brother had successfully defended his dissertation from University of Washington (yup, I have a brother who is a PhD in genetics).  Sorry to my dear husband who is not included in the photo! I wanted to pay homage to my Dad this week in honor of our article.

Last Sunday, I left off asking you to reflect on two related questions for your week ahead:

How can you begin to share a deeper side of yourself at work and at home this week?

What gets in your way of doing this more frequently and honestly?

It was fantastic to hear from a variety of you through various channels that you were curious if it was appropriate or even relevant to share more about yourself or your opinions about the content of your work with your peers and customers. We talked about your concerns for the implication of doing so and what the costs could be for taking such a risk. You were boldest in voicing your curiosity of the benefits of sharing a deeper side of yourself as work.

My related AHA moment this week that re-enforced to me the lesson of why it is so powerful and critical to disclose personal meaning along with the content of your work:

I taught an all day seminar this week with my business partner.  I was the lead instructor this week and this is our second time to run this particular seminar series.  My partner is always helping me better streamline and blend my curriculum as I am a research nut and if left to my own devices I would do a data dump.  My partner, Cindy is fantastic at providing me with feedback but this week when we were debriefing she said to me, “Katie, it can feel transactional sometimes when you simply cite other people’s research.  You have so much personal and professional experience to draw from as it relates to the research you share.  You need to take a moment and reflect for your students on what each takeaway means for you.  This way, your students will be more comfortable sharing their own experience and less self-conscious of their own reactions, etc.”

Wow!

There it is, there is the golden egg, that I wanted to provide to you with this last inquiry. And my universe, simply dropped it in my own lap for us all.  The key lesson here is that by being less transactional and more relational, you will connect and resonate with your peers on a level that aids in their particular adult learning process. As adults, we need to personalize our learnings in order to truly make a transition that is long-term and not merely cerebral.  Being able to do this for and with your clients and partners will stand you miles apart from your competition. I guarantee it.

Let me know if this resonates with you and if you have any other questions around how the entire group benefits when you take the time to offer your personal reaction and feelings about a matter at work.

My inquiry for this coming week is:

How do you elevate your game?

When tasked with an unprecedented (meaning bigger or higher profile than you have ever taken on before) role or project—how do you successfully prepare and execute?

Contacting Katie:

I am eager to hear your response to this inquiry as well as other questions you have.  Please email me at Katie@LegacyBuilderCoaching.com.

Have a fantastic week friends.  I can’t wait to hear about all your successes and breakthroughs.

KK

Does Getting Personal at Work Matter?

What is this blog all about?

Thanks to the encouragement of a new business friend, Justin Krane, (that’s Justin and I to the left)I have resolved to do my best job at posting more intimate blog posts for you all for a variety of reasons.

I believe I do my best work when I am working privately and one on one with a client. My hope is that I can create and offer the same kind of experience in this setting as I do for my particular clients.

Secondly, I am in the throes of what could be a longer process of writing my first book and I would rather share chunks of my ideas and inquiries to you all now, versus waiting for an eventual release of a larger body of work.

My hope is to evolve this regular blog format into a podcast, YouTube web series or radio show when the timing is right. However, rather than waiting for that right time, I am embracing the challenge of moving into the unknown when the timing in not necessarily perfect and my format is not totally clear so that we can be engaged and begin our sacred conversations. Because, the heart of the matter here, is to connect and seek resolve for a better way and better days. So, today, we begin.

In order to make this venture a success, I need 3 investments from you:

First, I need for you to email me directly and let me know what is weighing on your minds and souls when it comes to moving your life, career or overall joie de vivre forward.  I want to know what specifically you both believe and feel is holding you back from moving into your zone of genius more often than not.  By no means do I have all the answers, but I will attempt to provide you with some different ways of  viewing your situation and perhaps some alternative strategies to engage in order to move into your challenges with greater clarity and confidence.

Secondly, I ask you to kindly sign up for my blogs by entering your email in the box at the top right hand side of my blogsite: Sign up to receive Katie’s blogs.

And thirdly, in order to spread the word about this new outlet, I ask that you kindly, share the link that you found this blog on and encourage your friends and family to sign up to receive these posts as well.

I thank you kindly for joining me today and I will leave you with a question to ponder this week that embodies the spirit of this particular invitation:

Your Inquiry of the Week:

How can you begin to share a deeper side of yourself at work and at home this week?

What gets in your way of doing this more frequently and honestly?

Contacting Katie:

Katie is eager to hear your response to this inquiry as well as other questions you have for her.  Please email her at Katie@LegacyBuilderCoaching.com.

Have a fantastic week friends.  I can’t wait to hear about all your successes and breakthroughs.

KK

My Miraculous Week: Thanks to a Tweet

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s really your own skin that you are embodying?  I am just wrapping one of those weeks and I am so filled with gratitude and wonder about it all—I decided I would let you all into this wonderful place that has been my work life this week.

I believe in sharing both my victories and my setbacks because it helps break down any assumptions or false ideas we have about how certain events come about.  What a lot of my clients tell me that they most appreciate about me is that I am working right alongside them trying to make progress in my career and that no one person has the right formula for what is going to work for either of us.  It’s all about sharing our experiences and figuring out where and how to make that next best step forward for our own selves.

For me, this past week was forever altered in the most delightful way, with a simple Tweet.

So as some of you may know, alongside my work with my clients, I am developing my ‘on air’ media personality with a hope of eventually having my own television show where I get to share my work with a global audience.  Over the last year, I have served as a Leadership Expert on a morning television talk show on a monthly basis.  This incredible opportunity helped me find my media voice and has allowed me to practice and continue to hone my ‘on air/live’ presentation skills.  Not so easy!

As is my personality, I am now hungry for the next rung in the ladder if you will to help me push my big crazy dream of my show down the road. So, I simply asked my network to help me (take note: build, nurture and call on a network and amazing things happen).  In a matter of an hour after tweeting a request for connections in #BroadcastMedia—two of my colleagues contacted me and put me in touch with these two GIANTS in their industry and this is what came of my connection with them:

1)  An Executive Producer of 20/20 and Good Morning America in NYC: Once I finally got to speak to this generous man live—he said to me, “Katie, as you can imagine, I see a lot of tapes, I mean a lot and I don’t usually think much of what I see, but I have to say with your TV segments—I think you have some……. potential.”  Don’t you just love that line? I will never forget it.  He put me in touch with an agent who has directed me to pursue a local radio show that will then get syndicated and go from there.

2)  A NPR Producer: She and I met this morning, immediately following the information above and she is now guiding me through how to create my own content on a YouTube Channel so that I can submit those clips to a Clear Channel, etc. She thinks I should be the next “Frasier Crane”. How awesome is that?

My end goal in sharing this with you all is to prove to you that small miracles truly do happen every day. By simply sharing your story and asking your community if they, ‘know someone’—doors fly open and in no time at all-a dream becomes your reality.

I would love to know if my story resonates with you and if you have had any similar experiences in everyday miracle making.  Do tell!

Whose got YOUR back?

This week I went through a roller coaster of a decision that has ended up at a completely opposite end point than I had expected. And the reason for this differential is that the people closest to me all rallied, unknowingly together, for me to go the opposite way.

I share this with you because it has highlighted a lesson I thought I knew all too well, but that I clearly need to have reinforced again and again. So that means some of you out there might also benefit from my story.

I can admit now, today, (but trust me yesterday I was still mad!!) that the final decision to ultimately turn down an AWESOME opportunity is the right decision for myself, for my business and for my family.  But, a few days ago, I was drooling at the chance to make this possibility a reality.  For now, I have chosen to close the door and give it some time.

Rather than boring you with the details of the ins and out of my particular experience, I would like you to think about these questions when you are also faced with a huge, juicy, incredibly tantalizing opportunity:

1)      As yourself WHY you need this opportunity. Consider what ‘it’ in particular will offer to you that you can’t do for yourself today.

 

2)      Whose GAIN is this opportunity? Is there more to gain from the person who is offering you the opportunity versus to you yourself?

 

3)      Is this really the best TIMING for you with this opportunity?  If you are currently going through a very demanding time in your personal life (young children, relationship difficulties, medical issues, financial stress, etc), do you really have the bandwidth to take on all the implications of this opportunity?

 

4)      WHO serves on your personal advisory board?  If you don’t have one of these, you need to start building one today. Everyone needs an inner circle of people who are looking out for your best interests and whose opinion you respect.  You need to make sure you consult these people before you make any big decisions.

 

I’d love to know your thoughts on these points and if you ever have found yourself in a situation like mine where in retrospect you are happy or regretful about the decision you ultimately made.  Thanks everyone!

How to Bounce out of a Work Slump

Almost everyone has found themselves in a work slump. Typically a work slump is characterized by a loss of motivation or confidence to perform your job well.  This could be exhibited by you showing up to your workplace later and later, avoiding certain people or meetings, and acting inappropriately in an effort to disguise other feelings such as incompetence. Here are some tips on how you can bounce out of a work slump:

Address Distracting Personal Matters

The first step to bouncing out of a work slump is evaluating what is going on in your personal life that could be influencing how you are performing at work.  If you are experiencing unexplained physical symptoms like lethargy or difficulty focusing, you should go see your doctor or care providers for an evaluation.  If you are going through a difficult transition in your personal life such as a divorce, or your children are leaving for college or your spouse is out of work, you may want to consider engaging in a form of counseling to ensure that you have an appropriate space to reflect on those experiences.  Sometimes it is difficult to be objective about matters going on in our own lives, so talking to someone you are very close with about this subject is very helpful.  And then of course, making sure you are organized outside of work so that you are getting adequate sleep, exercise and nutrition so that when you do show up to work you are putting your best foot forward.

Revamp Your Daily Schedule

When I see clients who are trying to work themselves out of a work slump, they are either burned out after having endured a stressful and demanding project or role or they have lost their confidence and are so worried about possibly losing their job that they have begun to behave strangely in an effort to disguise their inadequate feelings.  Whether your particular slump falls into the loss of motivation or confidence bucket, the second step I suggest taking at work is to enact a schedule into your day so that you follow a consistent routine.  The benefit of doing this will help get you back on track and be able to understand exactly where your pain points might be occurring versus simply viewing your entire work experience as ineffective.  For example, I have been working with a gentleman who was sent to me by his boss because he had begun exhibiting very ‘desperate’ behavior when he was attempting to close sales deals with clients.  When this client, Bob and I were discussing his behavior we identified that he was feeling very out of control with his ability to meet his sales goals and resultedly was behaving in a very desperate manner.  Once Bob began to structure his week he regained what we call his own internal ‘locus of control’.

Revisit Your Industry’s Best Practices

The most successful people are those who view themselves as lifelong students or learners.  Simply because you have completed your formal education, does not mean that you should ever stop investing in our own development.  For some a slump at work can occur because folks have become so distanced from the theory or best practices of their particular industry that they feel uninspired and undirected.  This is very normal and happens to all of us.  When this does occur, I strongly suggest that you dust off some of your favorite old classics and take your own refresher course of your industry’s best practices. Perhaps you might even want to sign up for a webinar or a community college course if reading a book or a blog is not enough for you to feel adequately refreshed.  The goal of this step is to re-boot if you will in order to get grounded back into the core of your job role and to make sure that you are staying abreast of new trends and developments that are occurring within your field globally.

Strengthen Your Work Relationships

Once you have addressed personal matters, instituted structure into your work week and revisited best practices in your industry, it is time to strengthen your work relationships.  Sometimes people can fall into a work slump because they have stopped connecting with people at work.  This is not so easy to do so start with simple gestures with the folks who you want to improve your relationship with like asking them for some feedback or input on something you are working on, or supporting them in an initiative they are involved with or asking them to go out to lunch with the simple goal of connecting with them beyond your work roles.  Often times you will find that you will be able to garner needed mutual support from your work relationships that will result in you feeling more confident, less isolated and overall enjoying your time at work.