Power for Women is an Inside-Out Job

October 25, 2012

An aha moment struck me upside the head following my morning television segment a couple of weeks ago. I spoke about ways that women can be more powerful (Katie Kelley’s ABC Segment on How to Be More Powerful At Work). My revelation was that I did not address in that segment the fundamental building block necessary for women to be powerful.


Power for women is an inside-out job.

What I mean is that your ability to stand up for yourself and own the power that is rightly yours is directly related to your self image and the level to which you have accepted and embraced all that is uniquely YOU. This is drastically different for men, in general.  Men seem to compartmentalize their sense of self with the power that is theirs to own.

For women, we entangle the two.

We mirror our self worth outwards to the world and look for self fulfilling prophesies to confirm our worst fears about ourselves.  This has got to stop.  The only way for you to take control of this vicious cycle is to identify whether this is a reality for you and if it is, take control of it by diving into personal development work and start doing the work to help you seize your power, from the inside out.

Here’s one of my often referred to quotes from my graduate school days:

“The first dyadic relationship that a child has with their caretaker will be foretelling of their sense of self and their relational self throughout their lifetime.” (VanderKolk, 1987)

The truth is that our earliest relationships build the foundation of our relationship with ourselves and with others.  Assuming that we had confidence that our caretakers would provide us with the necessary safety and nurturing we needed during that fragile state, we are able to develop confidently and positively into mature, well attached adults.  If this was not the case in your early life experience, there is always an opportunity to re-establish that trust in others, it’s just going to take some hard work.  My advice to you is this is something that you think you struggle with (overall trust and security issues with others and frankly with yourself), then I urge you to engage in therapy so that you can explore exactly how your early life experience is impacting your life today.  This will very likely be one of the more challenging parts of your life that you are forced to tackle, but I guarantee it will also be the most rewarding and satisfying parts as well.

Go forth women and own your power!


My Miraculous Week: Thanks to a Tweet

June 8, 2012

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s really your own skin that you are embodying?  I am just wrapping one of those weeks and I am so filled with gratitude and wonder about it all—I decided I would let you all into this wonderful place that has been my work life this week.

I believe in sharing both my victories and my setbacks because it helps break down any assumptions or false ideas we have about how certain events come about.  What a lot of my clients tell me that they most appreciate about me is that I am working right alongside them trying to make progress in my career and that no one person has the right formula for what is going to work for either of us.  It’s all about sharing our experiences and figuring out where and how to make that next best step forward for our own selves.

For me, this past week was forever altered in the most delightful way, with a simple Tweet.

So as some of you may know, alongside my work with my clients, I am developing my ‘on air’ media personality with a hope of eventually having my own television show where I get to share my work with a global audience.  Over the last year, I have served as a Leadership Expert on a morning television talk show on a monthly basis.  This incredible opportunity helped me find my media voice and has allowed me to practice and continue to hone my ‘on air/live’ presentation skills.  Not so easy!

As is my personality, I am now hungry for the next rung in the ladder if you will to help me push my big crazy dream of my show down the road. So, I simply asked my network to help me (take note: build, nurture and call on a network and amazing things happen).  In a matter of an hour after tweeting a request for connections in #BroadcastMedia—two of my colleagues contacted me and put me in touch with these two GIANTS in their industry and this is what came of my connection with them:

1)  An Executive Producer of 20/20 and Good Morning America in NYC: Once I finally got to speak to this generous man live—he said to me, “Katie, as you can imagine, I see a lot of tapes, I mean a lot and I don’t usually think much of what I see, but I have to say with your TV segments—I think you have some……. potential.”  Don’t you just love that line? I will never forget it.  He put me in touch with an agent who has directed me to pursue a local radio show that will then get syndicated and go from there.

2)  A NPR Producer: She and I met this morning, immediately following the information above and she is now guiding me through how to create my own content on a YouTube Channel so that I can submit those clips to a Clear Channel, etc. She thinks I should be the next “Frasier Crane”. How awesome is that?

My end goal in sharing this with you all is to prove to you that small miracles truly do happen every day. By simply sharing your story and asking your community if they, ‘know someone’—doors fly open and in no time at all-a dream becomes your reality.

I would love to know if my story resonates with you and if you have had any similar experiences in everyday miracle making.  Do tell!

Paramount PR Tips from Weinstein PR

May 4, 2012

I consult with the leaders of small and mid size businesses who are often peripherally wondering how they should best be publicizing their story to the public.  The media landscape has shifted dramatically in the last few years with the influx of social media and the crumbling of traditional print media sources.  No one can afford to not engage with their customers today, rather it has become an imperative.  Here is a crystal clear list of tips from Portland’s own Weinstein PR, who together have more than 284 collective years working in PR, communications and design, for your PR considerations:

  •  The best PR efforts start with the brand. PR should nurture and nourish your brand, and ring true to your audience.
  • Human beings love great stories. Find your most compelling stories, and tell them strategically.
  • Consider your audience. Reach them where their interests intersect yours.
  • Hone your messages. Simplicity. Clarity. Focus on just 3 or 4 messages, and perfect them with great writing.
  • Provide great visuals. Compelling graphic design and iconic imagery make your message stick.
  • Prepare and rehearse. Anticipate questions. Practice answers. Be sure the people who will deliver your message are equipped to succeed with proper social/media training.
  • Control your own media, and frame the conversation for others. Tell your stories directly and engage your audience with blogs, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr and eNewsletters.
  • Boutique PR firms like ours offer great creative chops, are cost effective and have experienced people. The people you initially meet should be the ones who work on your account.
  • Build authentic relationships. Meet face-to-face with the media whenever possible, and share your stories with confidence and transparency.
  • Engage your employees, friends and vendors. Expand your inner circle to include everyone who can spread the word and feed the energy. Trust them with the truth.
  • Define what success looks like. Always articulate what you are trying to achieve with a PR campaign – so that everyone will know when you’ve done it!

What has your most successful PR initiative been and what did you learn along the way?

How to Unlock Your Storytelling Genius

April 18, 2012

Last night I had the high honor of hearing Michaela Murphy speak at my favorite place to connect with like minded professional women, Cindy Tortorici’s The Link for Women’s monthly event.  Michaela is a master storyteller whose work has been featured on NPR, Off-Broadway, The Moth Mainstage, and the Clinton White House and in The New Yorker, while her talents as a digital storyteller and social media guide have produced both happy clients and measurable results.

What I found the most fascinating from all the juicy tips that I am about to share from her was her observation that we often dismiss the part of ourselves that we are most gifted. This is a lesson she learned when she first began her career. She believes that what impedes many of us from being more vocal and forthcoming about this one particular ‘gift’ is our fear of being dismissed and as a result being ‘crushed’ by this rejection (because we know it is our core strength). Michaela went on to explain that as she has matured and developed a stronger ‘ego’, she is now very comfortable sharing her gifts and not being wounded by potential rejection or dismissal, etc.  What do you think?  Do you think that you refrain from deeper and more revealing storytelling in order to protect and cover parts of yourself that you are perhaps ashamed of, don’t understand or are protective of?  Well, read on…..

Here are some of the key takeaways that I learned from her:

Every story should have a CONFLICT, CLIMAX and REUNION

Begin with a hook-and establish it and the tone of your story in the first three sentences.  After delivering the first three lines, pause, let the audience ‘come in’

SHOW rather than TELL-tell a descriptive story rather than give an example.

Keep it ACTIVE

Make every word COUNT

Communicate from within to my audience WHY I do what I do, what the work I do DOES for me on an emotional level. What’s the tipping point of my work-where people get what I do?

Every story should have a beginning, middle and an end. The beginning is the set up and hook (only share what the audience needs to know, which may mean omitting characters and condensing time). The middle is where you spend the bulk of your story-delivering the action and the climax.  The end is the climax and the denouement.

When you tell YOUR STORY, start with what scares you. Where is the resistance? What is something you have done that you can’t understand? Share something risky for you.

Thank you Michaela, Cindy and Natalie Molina Nino for making this event happen!

Tips for Becoming More Persuasive

September 27, 2011

A universal desire for people in business or even in their personal life is to become more persuasive. The obvious benefit of doing so is that we get more of what we really want whether that means money, caliber of work or an improved quality of life. However, a secondary gain is that we also gain more credibility or authority and that contributes to our strength as a leader.  Here are five steps that you can take to become more persuasive today:

Develop expert knowledge and solutions for your target market’s universal issues

The first step is getting very clear on what your intentions are by carving out a niche or a particular target market that you want to establish as your clientele.  No one person, particularly early on, can be the solution for everybody or everybody’s problems, so get clear on who and what you really want to go after and then learn everything you can about their needs.  The second part of this equation is to then figure out a solution to your niche’s issues so that you are clear where your value lies for others.

So, to highlight this advice, I can tell you about a past client named Nancy who had started her own business as a Financial Advisor.  She wasn’t sure early on what her target market would be as she wanted to be open to a diverse roster of clientele.  As a result she was never clear in her marketing and advertising efforts what value she was bringing to her clients that was any different from her much larger and more established competitors.  She and I worked on identifying her ideal target market which was 30 something newlyweds.  Next, I made sure that she was focusing her own learning and development around becoming an expert advisor around some of the universal issues that arise for newlyweds as it relates to their financial management.  The next step was having Nancy work on creating products and services that would easily and efficiently meet the needs of these ideal clients.  Within a year, Nancy was enjoying a 60% increase in her revenues as a result of these actions.

When pitching, communicate crisp and evocative messages around Your “WHY”

Thought leader Simon Sinek has written a book entitled, ‘Start with Why’ which  explains that the most salient way to differentiate yourself from your competitors and rise to the top is to communicate your, “What, How and Why” when pitching your business.   Sinek explains that our “What” is merely the title on our business card, so in my case, Leadership Coach and Consultant.  Our “How” explains how we accomplish our overall work intention. So in my case again, my “How” is that I listen and respond dynamically to my clients based on my experience as a psychotherapist, a corporate sales management trainer and now as an entrepreneur.  But most important, Sinek explains, is to crisply and evocatively express your “Why” when pitching yourself or your business. One’s ‘Why’ is our highest intention driving the work that we do and explains to others our core motivation.  So for example, my why is to alleviate pain by igniting and emboldening women to become more inspired, effective business leaders.

Once you are clear on “Your What, your How and Your Why”, begin your conversations with these messages rather than a contrived and uncomfortable sales pitch. I guarantee that as a result you will spark intrigue in the right parties and the business will follow.

Ask & Close for Their Business/Commitment based on their social style.

Throughout your interactions with a potential client, be sure to ask the right questions that will shed light on their decision making process, their value system as well as their social style. The 4 universal social styles are analytical, driver, amiable and expressive.  Be sure to adapt your approach and focus with each person based on their social style.  So for example, if you are dealing with someone who is ‘analytical’, you want to be sure to have data proving your ROI or contextual information that you can present to them so that they can make their own informed decision as to whether or not they want to work with you or not.  If they are a ‘driver’, then focus your pitch on how you will help them achieve their goals in the most efficient manner and be forthright with asking them for their business.  However, if they are ‘amiable’ , you want to be purely relationship focused and let the business follow from there. With ‘expressives’, sit back and let them  talk and be sure to listen to what they are telling you they need and use more of a soft close with both the’ amiables’ and the ‘expressives’.

Deliver 110% on your commitment and follow-up with evaluation

It should go without saying, but your success rate in persuading others will only be as good as the work that you are producing elsewhere.  Particularly when you are embarking on a new niche or a new target market, I urge you to deliver 110% on the small windows of opportunity that you are given and to follow-up with an evaluation process so that you can perfect your work.  This is even more critical if you live in a small city like Portland where there seems to always be six degrees of separation amongst your colleagues.

Leverage all your early wins to build your expert status

Throughout this process that I am describing, you are developing your expert status that will over time build your credibility and authority and in turn lead to a very high rate of persuasion. However, keep in mind that this journey takes time in order to build your reputation properly.  That being said, you want to be sure to start slow and small and begin to take on larger projects and/or complexity of clientele’s issues gradually. With each win, meaning successful work relationships, figure out a way to share that success with your larger community and network as well as potential new clients.  Some examples of this would be to write an article or a blog about your success with your client (not disclosing their identity unless you received permission from them of course), sharing your lessons learned on social media or seeking out opportunities to speak publicly or on a panel to your target market.



Contents: My Big Dream Job & how I am getting started….

September 21, 2011

Greetings friends and fans,

Today is the day I have decided to share with you all the grand plans I have for myself professionally for two glaring reasons. First, I think it will be helpful for those of you who have similar ambitions and are curious as to the process and methods by which I am going about reaching this overarching, awesome and universal goal.  And, secondly, because I need your support, humor and overall feedback on how I am doing and what you think I should do differently, etc. If it takes me 30 years to reach this goal, so be it, but in the mean time, let’s begin….

Drum roll please, I feel deep in the core of who I am that I will eventually end up with my own television show.  Yes, that’s right, and I am talking, move to Los Angeles, syndicated, cable type of show.  This is just something that seems like a logical evolution for myself given my drive, the messages I want to share with the world and frankly the type of lifetime goal that I feel up to taking on.  Now, when I share this LOFTY goal, people either go silent or smile, rather glibly, I might add. I can see their mind working, they are thinking to themselves, “Oh, good Lord, listen to the ego on this one??” or the ones I choose to embrace as friends are those who say things like, “I’d watch ya” or “You rock on with your bad self Katie”, or my FAVORITE is my own father, whose best response to all of this is, “Katie, you have never been short on dreams”.

I figure, the best I can do is shooting to make this dream a reality and in the short-term have fun and continue to expand my business and who knows where I”ll actually land. However, for those of you who are curious as to how one goes from where I currently stand in the world, both professionally and personally, to joining the ranks of Ellen DeGeneres, Rachael Ray, Anderson Cooper of the Goddess of all that is, Oprah, this is what I am beginning to work on based on the amazing professionals I have consulted with in the last few days:

1) Developing my online presence by branding myself as a media personality via my personal Facebook Page and Twitter account and dedicating my Legacy Builder Coaching website, FB Page and Twitter Account to just my corporate work. Basically, beginning to distinguish myself between these two identities. (Thanks to Maggie Palmer of MKP Creative & Jill Daniel of Pasta Queen Public Relations for that advice)

2) Begin to blog on a weekly basis (here I am!)

3) Hire a Writing Coach (@BrookeWarner in San Francisco) to hold me accountable to completing an e-book by years end to begin to establish my platform.

Okay, that’s it for now….let me know what you think this sounds, etc. I need your help!

Sizzling Strategic Thinking Tips for Your Business

March 25, 2011

Ever get the feeling you have seen and heard it all when it comes to ‘Business 101’? It all just starts to sounds the same?  Me too! Here’s the great news, I attended a seminar last week as part of The Link’s ‘A Seat At The Table’ Executive Development Program around ‘Strategic Thinking’ and the facilitator, Doug Mendenhall of Get Spark!, knocked it out of the park for me.

Here’s what I walked away thinking more deeply about:

1)      People hate to be sold to, but they love to buy ….a compelling story about your particular service or product. What’s compelling about your offerings? The more compelling you are to be bought; the easier it is to sell.


2)      To be compelling means that people believe that you are trusting. Thus, the key is establishing authority in their minds. Find something that is compelling that you can become an authority on.


3)      The key to thinking strategically about your business, is to begin the start of each day with no agenda other than thinking through what you have learned to date and applying those lessons to creating your next iteration.


4)      An iteration is a plan for an intended outcome, whether that means getting the buy in from your executive team or moving product off a shelf.  Your goal should be to identify the key variables that determine your sales effectiveness and continually experiment with refining an iteration that can be measured and result in you reaching your sales goals.


5)      The key is to ditch the experimented iteration as soon as you have given it sufficient time to be tested and find that the results are not sufficient and move on to your next more disciplined and evolved iteration.


6)      If I were to ask you what 1 thing you could do each day that makes the largest impact in your business, what would it be? If you don’t know, send me an email at katie@legacybuildercoaching.com and we will arrange a complimentary consultation to uncover your one thing.


7)      Are people running to you or from you in your business? If they are running, you should focus on your presence because you can create who you want to be in a minute by simply deciding who you want to be, creating that presence, committing to it and practicing it.


8)      In order to create momentum for your strategic focus, keep in mind this simple and universal formula.  Build 5 positives, i.e. things that are happening today that are contributing to your forward momentum, with 1 critique, i.e. a driving variable that could shift your progress ahead.


9)      Rather than being your business’s ‘Chief Doing Officer’, work on becoming your own ‘Chief Thinking Officer’


10)   Don’t focus on CHANGING, think about CREATING a new way of achieving your intended outcomes. It’s so much easier that way!


Thank you Doug Mendenhall of Get Spark! and Cindy Tortorici of The Link’s ‘A Seat At The Table’ Executive Development Program.