I was really flying there for a while (and I do mean flying—I move quickly and get a lot of things done, at the same time, because, hey, I am a woman, that’s what we do). My family life is in full throttle, a now nine month old and our very energetic toddler are thriving and loving life at the same time that my consulting business has begun to receive an enormous amount of visibility and clientele (oh and there is a fantastic husband thrown into this mix as well).
And probably no surprise to you, I recently came right up against that proverbial wall, some balls started to drop and sure enough, my little ‘ol tank was nearing empty. Before I continued down this highly predictable road, I put a full stop on a majority of my activities, and implemented some serious CHANGES in my WAYS. Along the way, I have also had some enormously enlightening conversations (or as they might call it, ‘interventions’) with people whom I hugely admire and adore. And I will say, while some of these lessons below might seem highly elementary, it is amazing how different it is when you are really going through something and have lost the gift of clarity. A woman in one of my seminars recently said a perfect quote that fits so well in this context: “I listened to you before, but I hear you now”. Thank you to all the sacred people in my life who have and continue to support me in my journey—you know who you are.
Here is as a short list of what I have learned:
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should
I have learned that just because amazing and never before seen opportunities seem to continually be falling into my lap; it doesn’t mean that this is the right time to move ahead with any or all of them. Timing is everything, and I have to resign myself to the fact that I cannot do it all right now (duh).
Structure, structure, structure my time (for play and work)
In my heart of hearts, I am a free spirit. That’s why I left Corporate America and started my own business. However, I have learned the enormous value of structuring my weeks so that I am clear on when I am at full capacity with clients and when I need to build in time for writing, managing the kids’ ‘stuff’ and heck, writing this enormously valuable blog.
Incorporate the Ying to my Yang
I need to work on incorporating more balance in my life so that it’s not all go-go-go-collapse. For every run I go on, I am working on throwing in a yoga class. I have been referred to a Naturopath to help me with some herbal remedies for increased internal balance. This is a bit far out for me right now, but I took the woman’s card and will consider it down the road.
View everything happening as abundant & miraculous
A dear friend and I had lunch recently and she heard me ending a lot of my statements with conditional statements, like “Well, these are my plans, but that cannot happen for three years”. She challenged me to view everything happening in my life right now as abundant and far exceeding any earlier expectation. In addition, she encouraged me to always be open to any and all opportunities and to try to let go of any limits or conditions I am assigning to situations or timelines. This shift in thinking has been enormously liberating, try it out.
The people whom you are closest with are the best barometer of how you are REALLY doing
When I am with clients or focused on a work project, I can really get in to the zone where I am so jazzed about what I am doing that I can totally shut off my own needs. There is an adrenaline that rushes through me when I am in my work zone that allows me to perform at my best but also is hard to shut down. Sometimes, just because I am no longer working and am actually with my family or friends, does not always guarantee that I am not thinking about work. This is a serious problem. The people closest to me have been able to help me see instances of when this is occurring, how it affects them (not surprisingly it doesn’t make your loved ones feel great) and how to go about being PRESENT.
This is one of the toughest ones of all. However, it is getting easier to do since I have gotten more structured in my days and more aware of where my mind is in given situations.
Nurture your relationships and yourself—they are really all that matter anyways
It is easy to slip into bad habits of taking your loved ones for granted and not caring for yourself as you would others. For all that I am expending out to my family and my clients, I need to figure out ways to replenish my body, mind and soul.
Would love to know if anyone else out there has found themselves in the same conundrum and what you have done to ‘right your ship’. Thanks everyone!!